7 funny things NFL players can do during the National Anthem instead of kneeling

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"I haven't seen anyone this upset over knees since my orthopedic surgeon when I tore both of my ACL's in high school."

- a terrible tweet I came up with but didn't tweet a few weeks ago.


2017 has been quite a year. The political state of our country has many people labeling 2017 as the worst year ever. I think that just depends on your own personal perspective. But lets get something straight. We are lucky. Professional athletes from all different backgrounds are coming together to protest civil rights. Isn't that what we want? Human beings coming together, to fix a problem? Why are people so pissed off about it?

"They're disrespecting the flag!"

This became a common theme after the protests started. Which led to people "boycotting the NFL" by claiming they were going to stop watching games. Which is hilarious to me. Soon enough, these same people even started burning any NFL gear they owned and posting videos of this to social media. Which is even more hilarious to me. That reason being, I would bet almost anything on the fact that most of this gear these people are burning, WASN'T authentic NFL made apparel. Most likely a knockoff jersey they found somewhere for $30, or a secondhand t-shirt from Walmart. People are burning t-shirts from Walmart to boycott the NFL. This shit is funny to me, and I want it to continue. 

So I started thinking, what else could players do during the national anthem to demonstrate protest other than take a knee? Now, I wanted these "demonstrations" to be realistic and actually possible to do on the field, during the time span of the anthem. Here are the basics:

  • Has to be dismissive, but not extreme
  • Has to be possible to do in 2 minutes or less
  • Cannot be derogatory
  • Including teammates is a plus

I came up with a pretty long list, and eventually narrowed it down to 7. Once I narrowed it down, I started thinking, which NFL personality would each demonstration fit best? So I added some depth to the list by including a player(s) to each demonstration and why they would be perfect for it. Take a look below:


1. Solve a Rubik's Cube

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Could you imagine if somebody pulled out a rubik's cube as soon as "Ohhhhh sayyy" started playing over the stadium speakers?? This demonstration not only fits all the requirements but it would even provide some entertainment. Yeah, we've all seen those ridiculous videos of people solving rubik's cubes in like 20 seconds but the pressure to solve one at this moment, on this stage, would be electric. Richard Sherman is a smart guy, he graduated from Stanford and is always very articulate in interviews. I'd like to see him take on the colored cube. He may or may not have rubik's cube experience, but I think he'd be perfect for this demonstration.


2. Make a sandwich 

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What NFL player doesn't need a pre game snack? And I think we've gotta go with PB&J on wheat here. The tricky part with this one is will he have enough time to 1) spread the peanut butter & jelly (evenly) on each slice of bread and 2) eat the sandwich? I think Snacks can do it, and that's why I picked him for this particular demonstration. Also, because his nickname is Snacks.


3. Double-Dutch jump rope

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The first team demonstration on the list, and one of my favorites. Not only do multiple players get to take part in this demonstration, but it would also provide for some entertainment. The Dallas Cowboys trio sound perfect for double dutch. I'm thinking Dez would be the one jumping, but I could be wrong. Zeke could be the jumper. Or they could take turns. How long would they be able to go without messing up? The whole duration of the national anthem??


4. Floss teeth

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Dental hygiene can be overlooked sometimes, especially flossing. Personally, I think people should carry floss around with them during the day to floss after meals. Why not floss before your football game? And who better than the Oral-B endorsed Antonio Brown? He has one of the best smiles in sports, takes dental hygiene serious, and has already been spotted flossing on the sidelines during a game before. He would even have time for a 30 second mouthwash rinse if he flosses quick enough.


5. Clip Fingernails

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At first I thought clipping toenails would be a good idea. But the removing of shoes and socks would take too long, and wouldn't work for the 2 minute allotment. Fingernails need to be tended to, including cuticles. Doesn't Odell just look like he clips his fingernails religiously? Plus, he's a wide receiver and these guys understand the importance of taking care of their hands. OBJ is obviously a hands guy, so he's perfect for this.


6. Origami

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Origami is an underrated art. A two minute time frame is perfect for this demonstration. Martellus is a creative guy, who appreciates art. He has a multimedia production company called "The Imagination Agency" that produces content for kids. I think Marty could bust out a paper crane in two minutes before taking the field at Lambeau.


7. Thumb war

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I've never been great at thumb wars. My all time record is well below .500. However, I have witnessed some incredible thumb wars in my day. Some of these wars I remember lasting 10 or even 15 minutes. These two teammates are known to push each other to get better, so I feel like they're perfect for this. They could have a war each week and compare records at the end of the season.